Popular Comedy Quotes
I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut your fucking mouth.Hobbit Lover
Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!
Fuck off with your D&D GoBot bullshit.Randal Graves
What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?Randal Graves
What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?Dante Hicks
You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."Jay
Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop!Buddy
... I got nothing.Silent Bob
I got to rent movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.Randal Graves
[Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head] I come in peace.Elliot
Now, before we learn how to build the latest in extreme graphic chipset processors, let's recite the code of the elves, shall we?Elf Teacher
Kit: Good news. It's Champagne Thursday.
Paula: It's Friday.
Kit: Uh, yeah, it came twice this week.
Paula: For the third straight week.
Kit: There's talk of making it permanent.
Paula: Oh, kind of like Daylight Saving's Time?
Kit: Right, but for booze.