I'm gonna kick your ass back to the Shire if you don't shut your fucking mouth.

Hobbit Lover

Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, TI-juana Mexico!
Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no.
Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes!

Fuck off with your D&D GoBot bullshit.

Randal Graves

What's the point of having an Internet connection if you're not using it to look up weird, fucked-up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?

Randal Graves

What'd you do that for? You realize he just thinks you're trying to get him into a threeway with us now, don't you?

Dante Hicks

You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien life form... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."

Jay

Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop!

Buddy

... I got nothing.

Silent Bob

I got to rent movies, fuck with assholes, and hang out with my best friend, Dante.

Randal Graves

[Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head] I come in peace.

Elliot

Now, before we learn how to build the latest in extreme graphic chipset processors, let's recite the code of the elves, shall we?

Elf Teacher

Kit: Good news. It's Champagne Thursday.
Paula: It's Friday.
Kit: Uh, yeah, it came twice this week.
Paula: For the third straight week.
Kit: There's talk of making it permanent.
Paula: Oh, kind of like Daylight Saving's Time?
Kit: Right, but for booze.

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