Elliot: Trust me, you know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck, what do you call that?
Boog: Ahhh a loser! But check this out... behold the mighty grizzly... i look like a bear, i talk like a bear but i can't fish, i can't climb a tree, i can't even go in the woods
Elliot: Thats nothing! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
Boog: I ride a unicycle for crackers
Elliot: I have a glass eye
Boog: I can't snap
Elliot: I thought log was a colour
Boog: I can't see my feet!
Elliot: I killed a man!

Elliot: Lesson number 1: The big rocks are called mountains and the little rocks are their babies.

You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me.

Dr. Gonzo

I'm trying to get you laid, I'd appreciate a little help!

Jack

Beaver #1: What you get for lunch?
Beaver #2: Wood. What you get?
Beaver #1: Wood. Wanna trade?

Reilly: It's a pet! He'll give us away!
Mr. Weenie: I've been living a lie!
[Tears off his sweater]
Mr. Weenie: Take me with you!

Ian: Herd, circle formation!
[the other deer surround Boog]
Ian: That's an oval, idiots! More... circular.

Boog: [Helium voice] Hello, idiot.
Elliot: [Helium voice] That's Elliot.

All right, fish. Give it up for Boog!

Boog

Boog: We've been walking around in circles?
Elliot: Cir-cle. One time around.

He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.

Carl Spackler

I want you, Evan Baxter, to build an ark.

God

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