Elliot: [when Boog asks where are the toilets in the forest] Don't look now, but I see a little bush with your name written all over it.
Boog: A bush? Are you serious?
Elliot: Go on. Its just like riding a bicycle, only... you're crapping on it.

Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree / He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who constantly had to pee.

Elliot

Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals?

Raoul Duke

Ew. EW. EW! It's terrible and wonderful at the same time! It's freedom in a cup!

Elliot

Boog: Yeah, we'll need your nuts!
Elliot: And your acorns, too!

Look at me! I'm a doe and I'm a buck. I'm a DUCK!

Elliot

Where's home? It's gone! Someone stole it!

Boog

Why don't we get you out those wet clothes, and into a dry martini.

Barry Badrinath

[in the mail room] It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me.

Buddy

[to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?

Al Czervik

Listen, honey. Let me call you right back. Miles and I are in the middle of something. No, it's nothing serious, Miles is just having one of his freak-outs. Yeah. Love you too.

Jack

Dr. Gonzo: I have to go.
Raoul Duke: Go?
Dr. Gonzo: Yes. Leave the country. Tonight.
Raoul Duke: Calm down. You'll be straight in a few hours.
Dr. Gonzo: No. This is serious. One more hour in this town and I'll kill somebody!

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