Popular Comedy Quotes
James Carter: Just tell me how the Triads gonna kill us.
Lee: They will torture us for three days.
James Carter: Okay, I can handle that.
Lee: Then they will cut off our eggrolls.
James Carter: Cut off our eggrolls? Oh hell no! We gotta get out of here! Don't give up!
Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
I gotta get back to work on the "tomnion." It's a cross-pollination between a tomato and an onion.Ned
So what do we do? What do we do?Andrew Largeman
Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern.
Evan: I didn't realize that.
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, it has been argued by me, the defense, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-O-Suds, at the same time, driving identical metallic mint green 1964 Buick Skylark convertibles. Now, can you tell us by what you see in this picture, if the defense's case holds water?
[Lisa examines the picture]
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, please answer the question: does the defense's case hold water?
Mona Lisa Vito: No! The defense is wrong!
Vinny Gambini: Are you sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: I'm positive.
Dan Foreman: We made a deal remember? We made a deal we'd always be honest with one another.
Alex Foreman: Dad, I was like five years old when we made that deal.
Dan Foreman: Yeah, I liked you better then.
"I have a demon in me."Stu
Saddam Hussein: What the *fuck* are you talking about?
Satan: You treat me like shit, Saddam! I'm leaving you!
Saddam Hussein: What? No? No! You can't do that! I have to go to Earth!
Satan: You don't even have any respect for me.
Saddam Hussein: Sure I do, guy, please, just hear me out
Nancy Hayes: I dropped out of high school, took a trip to Hollywood, went broke, came home, and hostessed at a strip club.
Jack Ryan: Everybody hostesses, nobody strips.
Admiral Benson: Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson is dead. So is Mo Green, Tataglia, Barzini, the heads of all the five families. It is at moments like these, my dear friends, that we must ask ourselves: "How can this not be part of some larger plan?" Do good men like Dead Meat Thompson just blink out one day like a bad bulb? I mean, one minute you're in bed with a knockout gal... or guy, and the next, you're a compost heap. Doesn't that bother any of you? Because it scares the living piss outta me!
A TITANIUM Express card?Mr. Fox