
Popular Comedy Quotes
I always sleep better with a little sausage in me.
Great Gam Gam
Todd Wolfhouse: We've got to go back and get grandpa's ashes.
Jan Wolfhouse: You go, I'm never leaving this place.
Leon the Snowman: Why the long face, Buddy?
Buddy: It seems I'm not an elf.
Leon the Snowman: Of course you're not an elf. You're six-foot-three and had a beard since you were 15.
Gusteau: You know what I say. Anyone can cook.
Remy: Yeah, anyone can cook. That doesn't mean anyone should.
Walter: You get the hell out of here.
Buddy: Where do you want me to go?
Walter: I don't care where you go. I don't care that you're an elf! I don't care that you're nuts! I don't care that you're my son! Get out of my life! Now!
Ty Webb: Guys, don't include me in this.
Al Czervik: Come on, Ty, you're an ace. Everybody knows it.
Ty Webb: I don't play golf, for money, against people.
Al Czervik: What are you, religious or something?
Ty Webb: You might say that.
Barry Badrinath: [about the past] Come on, buddy. Can we bury the hatchet? I mean, we both know your wife just sat there taking it like a plastic fuck doll.
Todd Wolfhouse: I happened to MARRY that plastic fuck doll!
Barry Badrinath: [about Great Gam Gam] All I'm saying is... that whore thing could be a real possibility. Some of my best friends are whores.
Jan Wolfhouse: We know, Barry.
I'm just lookin' for a little slap and pickle!
Barry Badrinath
Yeah, you Americans, why don't you go back to strip malls und drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices!
Otto
[to Remy] You were the one getting fancy with the spices!
Linguini
Walter: What do you want? Some money?
Buddy: No! I just wanted to meet you and thought maybe you might want to meet me.
Walter: Who wouldn't wanna meet you?