[to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.

Todd Wolfhouse

I hate to say this, but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the fear.

Dr. Gonzo

You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me.

Dr. Gonzo

Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

Steve's got the eye of the Jew.

Todd Wolfhouse

Let's get sour on some Krauts!

Gil

I'm trying to get you laid, I'd appreciate a little help!

Jack

He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.

Carl Spackler

Walter Sobchak: Also, let's not forget - let's NOT forget, Dude - that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either.
The Dude: What are you, a fucking park ranger?
Walter Sobchak: No, I'm...
The Dude: Who gives a shit about the marmot!

I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.

Nacho

I want you, Evan Baxter, to build an ark.

God

Joan Baxter: You want to build a boat?
Evan Baxter: It might be something fun for the family. Go sailing on the lake. I don't know... it'd be great in case it floods or something.

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