Popular Comedy Quotes
Do you want to go in the bathroom and smoke a cigarette with me?Jack
I want to give this child a typical African-American name. Ojay.BrÃ¼no
Shooter McGavin: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Happy Gilmore: [laughing] you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Shooter McGavin: No... I...
I like the smell of my hair treatment; the pleasing odor is half the point.Ulysses Everett McGill
Jim's Dad: It's like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it's not a game.
Jim's Dad: It's not a game.
Jim's Dad: What you want is a partner to return the ball.
God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?The Dude
Fanny: They're all exceedingly spoilt I find. Miss Margaret spends all her time up trees and under furniture and I've barely had a civil word from Marianne.
Edward Ferrars: My dear Fanny, they've just lost their father. Their lives will never be the same again.
These, Tom, are the Causeheads. They find a world threatening issue and stick with it for about a week.Droz
Andrew Largeman: You remember that idea I had about working stuff out on my own and then finding you once I figured stuff out?
Sam: The ellipsis?
Andrew Largeman: Yes, the ellipsis. It's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? 'Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you, Samantha. I think that's the only thing I've ever been really sure of in my entire life.
This makes golf look like porn.Tom Dobbs
Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
Doc, none of us could remember anything from last night. Remember?Alan Garner