Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?
Buddy: I heard you singing.
Jovie: Are you sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked in the shower?
Buddy: I didn't know you were naked.

Steve's gotta go drain the sea-monster.

Steve the Pirate

Kate Veatch: That... is a really interesting painting.
White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor.
Kate Veatch: I get it.
White Goodman: But that actually happened, though.

There's no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I'm just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.

White Goodman

Peter La Fleur: Hang on a second. You wanna become a cheerleader to prove you are not a loser?
Justin: Yeah. Why?
Peter La Fleur: Nothing. High school's changed a bit since I was a kid.

Justin: This place is too important to us! Gordon, where do you go when your wife changes the locks?
Gordon: Average Joe's.
Justin: Right! Dwight, Owen, what are you going to do if Average Joe's closes? You gonna work at the airport again?
Dwight: Say what? I ain't working at no airport!
Justin: No, 'cause you hated it! Steve! Where is it you go to do... whatever it is that you do?
Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe's be the only place for Steve!

Those men and that muff-diver believe in you.

Patches O'Houlihan

Let me tell you, a double-fault final-play elimination hasn't occurred since the Helsinki episode of 1919, and I think we all remember how THAT turned out!

Cotton McKnight

Ace: At least I'm not sponging off my parents so I can afford to get laid on every continent.
Demo: Whoa, whoa... I'm a ramblin' man, I'm a tumble weed, I'm a seeker of truth!

You're going down like a sweet muffin!

White Goodman

Tripp: [at the top of a mountain, when Ace appears] Well, hey, Ace. We thought you gave up and went home.
Ace: [dropping to the ground, exhausted] No. I fell into a deep, dark crevice. It was scary.

[pushing elevator buttons] It looks like a Christmas tree!

Buddy

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