Popular Comedy Quotes
Wilbur: Okay, so he keeps working and working until finally, he gets it! The first working time machine! Then, he keeps working and working until finally, he gets it again! The second working time machine!
Lewis: That's kinda small for a time machine.
Wilbur: I'm assuming that's a joke. I'm ignoring you for time reasons. This, my friend, is merely a model, because unfortunately, time machine number two is in the hands of the Bowler Hat Guy!
Lewis: Why would his motto be "Keep moving forward?"
Wilbur: It's what he does.
Lewis: What does that mean?
Wilbur: That is an excellent question.
Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
Buddy: Yes there is!
Gimbel's Manager: No there's not!
Buddy: We sing all the time!
Gimbel's Manager: No you don't!
Buddy: Especially when we build toys!
Mom and Dad are gonna kill me! And I'm gonna tell you this, it will not be done with mercy!Wilbur
Lewis: Goob, I had no idea!
Bowler Hat Guy: Shut up! And don't call me "Goob"! How many evil villians do you know that can pull off a name like "Goob"? Bleh!
Lewis: Look, I'm sorry your life turned out so bad. But don't blame me you messed it up yourself. You just focused on the bad stuff when all you had to do was... let go of the past and keep moving forward...
Bowler Hat Guy: Hmm, let's see... take responsiblity for my own life or blame you? Dingdingdingdingding! Blame you wins hands down!
If my parents figured out I brought you from the past, they'll bury me alive and dance on my grave!Wilbur
Danny Noonan: I haven't even told my father I'm not gonna get that scholarship. I'm gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.
Ty Webb: What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
Danny Noonan: I notice you don't spend too much time there.
Ty Webb: I'm not quite sure where they are.
Dude... I cannot take you seriously in that hat...Wilbur
Little Doris now sleeps with the fishes.Bowler Hat Guy
[to Lewis] I'm not allowed to look at the time machine, let alone drive it!Wilbur
Dr. Gonzo: Let's give the boy a lift.
Raoul Duke: What? No. We can't stop here. This is bat country.
Step right up and shoot the pasties off the nipples of a ten foot bull dyke! Win a cotton candy goat!Clown Barker