Popular Comedy Quotes
Brian Dennehy: Did someone say my name?
Stan: Who are you?
Brian Dennehy: I'm Brian Dennehy.
Kyle: What? No, not fuckin' Brian Dennehy!
Stan: Get the fuck out of here!
Brian Dennehy: Oh. Bye.
Billy Baldwin: [answers the phone] Baldwin residence. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Daniel Baldwin call his extension, stupid!
[hangs up the phone]
Billy Baldwin: Hey Alec, you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?
Alec Baldwin: No, what?
Billy Baldwin: Nothing!
Jim The Gun Salesman: [persuading her not to buy a large gun and bullet to shoot a mockingbird] First of all, there's this book, "To Kill A Mockingbird"...
Kit: Copy that too, just put that book right here!
Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
See, it doesn't hurt anyone! Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck.Cartman
Kit: Yeah, everyone from work went to T.G.I. Fridays, but I don't really like that place. Or anyone that I work with.
Paula: Oh good, so then we can stay in and watch one of those drinking movies you like.
Kit: [sarcastically] Yeah!
Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop!Buddy
Now, before we learn how to build the latest in extreme graphic chipset processors, let's recite the code of the elves, shall we?Elf Teacher
[singing] The sun is shining and the grass is green. / Under the three feet of snow, I mean.Stan
That movie has warped my fragile little mind.Cartman
Kit: Good news. It's Champagne Thursday.
Paula: It's Friday.
Kit: Uh, yeah, it came twice this week.
Paula: For the third straight week.
Kit: There's talk of making it permanent.
Paula: Oh, kind of like Daylight Saving's Time?
Kit: Right, but for booze.
Well, everyone at work went to TGI Fridays, but I don't really like that place. Or anyone that I work with.Kit