You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!

Kyle

The day is mine!

Satan

Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.

Newscaster

American Representative: Fuck Canada!
Canadian Representative: Hey fuck you buddy!

Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch.

Terrence

Morty: [while Michael is about to call him] Yes?
Michael Newman: [jumps back and lands on the table] You scared the...
Donna Newman: Honey, what's going on down there?
Michael Newman: I, uh, it was a mouse! It's dead, I killed it, it just broke the table first.

Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?

Wow, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh?

Cartman

What do you think this is kid? T.V. kiddie hour where we all stand around and lick Barney the dinosaur fucking pussy?

The Mole

Kyle: Get out of here, Ike. You're too young for this stuff.
Ike: Bullshit.

Michael Newman: [trying to convince him to let the project be procrastinated so he can go camping] Three days? Couldn't I have a little more time for this project?
Ammer: Michael, our clients are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook.

Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink?
Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax?
Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck that too. You need to get your joint worked on, Miles.

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