Popular Comedy Quotes
Kyle: WUUUUaaahh! WUUUaaaaahhhhh!
Soldier: Hey, you hear that? Sounds like a giraffe's dying over there!
Hey Satan, I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. Let's fuck to celebrate.Saddam Hussein
Satan: You have spilled the blood of the innocent. Now begins two million years of Darkness.
Chef: Oh, good job Mrs. Broslofski. Thanks a lot!
Stan: We're "La Resistance," we want to save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff.
The Mole: I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days.
Kyle: So are we. Our parents think we're home right now.
Stan: Why are you grounded?
The Mole: Why? Because God hates me, that's why. He has made my life miserable. So I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get grounded.
Stan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?
Chef: Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris.
[singing] There's a bunch of birds in the sky. And some deers just went running by.Stan
There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning.Raoul Duke
Becca: Your cock is so smooth!
Evan: You would too... if you were a man.
Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.Raoul Duke
Stephanie: [to Jack as she is beating him with her motorcycle helmet] I hope you die!
[stops beating Jack and looks at Miles]
Stephanie: You too!
Miles Raymond: Me?
I hate to say this, but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the fear.Dr. Gonzo
You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me.Dr. Gonzo