Popular Comedy Quotes
Now take a step back...*and fuck your own face!*Les Grossman
"Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a lit-tle co-at."Tommy
Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.Metatron
So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them.Hitch
Reuben Feffer: What did you do to her? Did you mess around with her oxygen tanks or something?
Claude: I did nothing, Luban.
Reuben Feffer: My name is not Luban! It is Reuben!
Claude: Look, look we had a scuba, we drink some white wine, we talk about life and we cannot help it. It is like love at first sight. She make like the fire in my trouser.
OK... First I'll access the secret military spy satelite that is in geosynchronous orbit over the midwest. Then I'll ID the limo by the vanity plate "MR. BIGGG" and get his approximate position. Then I'll reposition the transmission dish on the remote truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit WESTAR 4 over the Atlantic, bounce the signal back into the aerosphere up to COMSAT 6, beam it back to SATCOM 2 transmitter number 137 and down on the dish on the back of Mr. Big's limo... It's almost too easy.Garth Algar
Patrick: Hey there girly... how you doin'?
Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself?
Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guy's attention huh?
Kat Stratford: My mission in life but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked... the world makes sense again.
Same thing happened to me. They found me in a back alley when I thought I was Neil Armstrong and was trying to reenter the Earth's atmosphere in a refrigerator box.Kirk Lazarus
Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus.Bartleby
[to Charlie] Ever heard of parents? We have parents who love us. You don't, 'cause you're an orphanRoy
We bought a zoo!Rosie
I had been nominated for the Medal of Honor. I have been so nominated seven times. I have never won. Still, seven times, that is something.Chief Inspector Dreyfus