Popular Comedy Quotes
Come on you fiend!Raoul Duke
Richard: Mr. Wilder here is quite the collegian. He's in his, what? sixth year?
Van Wilder: Actually, its lucky number seven.
Gwen: Well I think it takes a lot more then the kind of underwear one wears to define them as a person.
[Van looks shocked]
Van Wilder: Like what?
Well, you haven't lived until you've shot-putted blitzed on Jager!"Van Wilder
I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake!Van Wilder
Gwen, good of you to come. Now take off your clothes. It is the naked mile run.Van Wilder
Is that all you people think about? Getting fucked up?Taj
Is that all you people think about? Now, I admit I applied for this job because I wanted to cut loose and shake my romp, but I belive that this dilema cannot be solved by partying.Taj
You have shown me a live I could only dream about back home by masturbating in my father's woodshed.Taj
All this time I thought I was more to you than a flaccid story.Van Wilder
Dr. Gonzo: Hey honkies. You guys wanna buy some heroin? Goddamnit, I'm serious. I want to sell you some pure fucking smack! This is the real stuff! I just got back from Vietnam. Ahahaha... scag! I wanna sell you some pure fucking smack... Pure... fuck...
Man in Car: Goddammit you bastards! Pull over! I'll kill you I'll kill you! Pull over, come on!
Miles Raymond: Hey, what should I wear?
Jack: I don't know, something casual but nice. They think you're a writer.