Jake Taylor: I play for the Indians.
Chaire Holloway: Here in Cleveland? I didn't know they still had a team!
Jake Taylor: Yup, we've got uniforms and everything, it's really great!

They're going to blow that place sky high. It'll be a tragedy. Unless it's during a dance number.

Frank Drebin

Don't eat the corn dogs.


Father Brian Finn: You're a Sikh, Catholic Muslim with Jewish in-laws?
Indian Bartender: Yes. Yes. It gets very complicated. I'm reading Dianetics.
Father Brian Finn: Don't blame you.

Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing!

George Downes

King of Swamp Castle: Listen, Alice...
Prince Herbert: Herbert.
King of Swamp Castle: Herbert...

Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.
Waldorf: Dreams? Those where nightmares!

Today's my cat's birthday.


Russell Ziskey: John, do you think I'm officer material?
John Winger: God, I'm worried about you.
Russell Ziskey: Come on! I'm in good shape, I'm walking tall, I'm looking good. First weekend in Europe.
John Winger: Yeah. We're spending it in an airplane hangar... guarding a truck!
Russell Ziskey: We've got each other.

Diane: Did you have fun tonight honey?
Mini: What? My first night turning tricks? Could have been better.
Diane: That's nice.

The Thinker: I'm thinkin'...
Larry Daley: This is hopeless.

General Aladeen: Oh it's a girl. I'm so sorry. Where's the trashcan?
Pregnant Woman: Oh no we want it!

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