Popular Comedy Quotes
The urine stain on your pants signifies that you are a single-shake man, far too busy for the follow-up jiggle.Ace
Airplane Stewardess: [lisping] Peanuts?
Ace: Yes, I have one right here. It's bulky, but I consider it carry-on.
Friends, rodents, quadrupeds, lend me your rears!Ace
I'll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!Ace
Ace: Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger.
Guano bowls! Collect the whole set...Ace
You know, gingivitis is the number one reason of all tooth decay.Ace
Ace: Just what sort of bat are we talking about?
Fulton Greenwall: The Great White Bat, of course.
Ace: Corpus Kilochiroptera?
Fulton Greenwall: Yes, but to the natives... Shikaka.
Ace: Shikaka... Shikaka! Shikasha! Ohhh! Shishkabab. Shawshank Redemption. ShicaaaaGO! You're outta there! Go on, I gotcha, you're out.
You on the motorcycle... You two girls... tell your friends.Elwood
Ace: OK, all looks good, you know, you never really know until you check things out yourself.
Fulton Greenwall: Well, aren't you going to go investigate?
Ace: ITS DARK IN THERE... I MIGHT FALL INTO A PRECIPICE!
Did you get me my Cheez Wiz, boy?The Cheese Whiz
Chuck Porter: You know what they say about blind prostitutes?
Chuck Porter: You have to hand it to them!