Popular Comedy Quotes
Jack: You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000, plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar. If you don't, we're gonna break your friends legs here.
Dudley Frank: Don't bring the money! I'm a computer programmer! I don't need my legs!
Jack: Fine, we'll break his hands!
Dudley Frank: Oh dammit. Bring the money!
That's the way it crumbles... cookie-wise.C.C. Baxter
You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.Raoul Duke
Dieter Von Cunth: "Have you ever been to DC?"
Guy: "No, sir. I haven't."
Dieter Von Cunth: "I was talking to the missile."
Emily: We can't just throw him out in the snow.
Walter: Why not? He loves the snow. He's told me 15 times.
[about Mini-me] Jesus Christ, he's tiny! I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap.Fat Bastard
Clark, what are you doing?Ellen Griswold
Tai: Hey, did you see that?
Cher: Ugh. Skateboards. That's like so five years ago.
Fuck off, Death!Borat
Teddy Cullinane: [broadcasting] I've never seen Crash so angry. And frankly, sports fans, he used a word that's a no-no with umpires.
Millie: [Annie turns off radio] Crash must've called the guy a cocksucker.
Annie: Mmmmm. How romantic.
Barry: Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s. Go. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?
Holy shit, it's a cool Winnebago.Rabbit