Jane: Do you like my new dress?
Fletcher: What ever takes the focus off your head!

Fletcher: [Fletcher is trying to convince Greta to believe her about Max's wish]
Fletcher: You don't believe me, do you?
Greta: Of course not
Fletcher: [laughs dryly] Hahaha. How ironic. Okay, ask me something. Ask me something which you think I lied about.
Greta: Okay. Remember a few months' back when I asked you about a raise...?
Fletcher: Forget it. I don't wanna do this!

Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!

Napoleon Dynamite

Max Reede: If I keep making this face... will it get stuck that way?
Fletcher: Uh uh. As a matter of fact, some people make a very good living that way.

Fletcher: Your honor, I object!
Judge: Why?
Fletcher: Because it's devastating to my case!
Judge: Overruled.
Fletcher: Good call!

Fletcher: You brought your kids to your court hearing?
Samantha: Sympathy.
Fletcher: Well, it's working! I feel sorry for them already!

Oh, Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 percent sure that I love you.

Veronica Corningstone

Deb: Are they still letting you run for president?
Pedro: Yes. I don't understand... they say you're not allowed to have pinatas that look like real people, but in Mexico, we do it all the time.

Raoul Duke: Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear!
Dr. Gonzo: Don't tell me these things. Not now man.

Audrey: So did you have any trouble finding the place?
Fletcher: All right, I'm late. I ran oughta gas! The gage is broken. Rough neighborhood too. Good thing I was wearing neutral gang colors. Might've had to rip out my nine and bust a cap! My mind on my money and my money on my mind!
Audrey: They'd never hurt you, Fletcher. You're their lawyer.
Fletcher: Ooh. That was below the belt. Try to keep the gloves up.
Max Reede: Mom, dad's taking me to see wrestling!
Audrey: Ugh. Fletcher!
Fletcher: Ugh. Audrey!

Cammi: And here are your handy wipes.
Jack: Oh, so that's what these are. For a minute there I thought you guys were promoting safe sex.

Bazooko's Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich.

Raoul Duke

FREE Movie Newsletter