Is your child in dire jeopardy? Find out tonight, after the game.

Evan Baxter

Larry: [seeing Bill and Everette sleeping together] What in the name of Siegfried and Roy are you fellas doing?
Bill Little: Don't ask.
Everette: Don't tell.

Quaffable, but uh... far from transcendent.

Miles Raymond

Larry: [when Everette wakes up wearing a dress] Everette, that's another reason you shouldn't drink tequilla.
Everette: [sees the dress] Damn, this always happens when I eat the worm.

I'm gettin' too fat for this s***.

Larry

Look at this, okay? I want you to remember this face. This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.

Trent

Trent, the beautiful babies don't work the midnight to six shift on a Wednesday. This is like the skank shift.

Mike

That was so fucking money. That was like the Jedi mind-shit.

Mike

Trent: They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, you dig that?
Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!
Mike: Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!
Trent: Vegas baby! Vegas!
Mike: Vegas!

Sue: People get carjacked.
Trent: Who's gonna carjack your fuckin' K-Car? He's right, Sue, you don't need to carry a gatt!

Ahoy polloi.

Spalding Smails

Donny: They posted the next round for the tournament.
Walter Sobchak: Donny, shut the f- when do we play?

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