Is your child in dire jeopardy? Find out tonight, after the game.

Evan Baxter

Larry: [seeing Bill and Everette sleeping together] What in the name of Siegfried and Roy are you fellas doing?
Bill Little: Don't ask.
Everette: Don't tell.

Miles Raymond: This weekend is not about me. It is about you. I'm gonna show you a good time. We're gonna drink a lot of good wine. We're gonna play some golf. We're gonna eat some great food and enjoy the scenery and we are going to send you off in style, mon frere.
Jack: And get your bone smooched.

Larry: [when Everette wakes up wearing a dress] Everette, that's another reason you shouldn't drink tequilla.
Everette: [sees the dress] Damn, this always happens when I eat the worm.

I'm gettin' too fat for this s***.

Larry

Look at this, okay? I want you to remember this face. This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.

Trent

Think about it, you've skipped a year. That's a lot of sex. That's like, thirty minutes worth for you.

Morty

That was so fucking money. That was like the Jedi mind-shit.

Mike

Trent: They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, you dig that?
Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!
Mike: Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!
Trent: Vegas baby! Vegas!
Mike: Vegas!

Sue: People get carjacked.
Trent: Who's gonna carjack your fuckin' K-Car? He's right, Sue, you don't need to carry a gatt!

Quaffable, but uh... far from transcendent.

Miles Raymond

Ahoy polloi.

Spalding Smails

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