Popular Comedy Quotes
Is your child in dire jeopardy? Find out tonight, after the game.Evan Baxter
Larry: [seeing Bill and Everette sleeping together] What in the name of Siegfried and Roy are you fellas doing?
Bill Little: Don't ask.
Everette: Don't tell.
Quaffable, but uh... far from transcendent.Miles Raymond
Larry: [when Everette wakes up wearing a dress] Everette, that's another reason you shouldn't drink tequilla.
Everette: [sees the dress] Damn, this always happens when I eat the worm.
I'm gettin' too fat for this s***.Larry
Look at this, okay? I want you to remember this face. This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.Trent
Trent, the beautiful babies don't work the midnight to six shift on a Wednesday. This is like the skank shift.Mike
That was so fucking money. That was like the Jedi mind-shit.Mike
Trent: They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, you dig that?
Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!
Trent: Vegas baby! Vegas!
Sue: People get carjacked.
Trent: Who's gonna carjack your fuckin' K-Car? He's right, Sue, you don't need to carry a gatt!
Ahoy polloi.Spalding Smails
Donny: They posted the next round for the tournament.
Walter Sobchak: Donny, shut the f- when do we play?