Popular Comedy Quotes
Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
Bender: Who cares?
Allison Reynolds: I care.
Danny: No, no. It's not a cow. It's a a minotaur. It's a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom's closet.
Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her.
That is a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.Garth Algar
Justice: Hi, I'm Justice.
Jay: And I'm so fucking yours.
The Donkey: Shrek.
Shrek: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say.
The Donkey: But that's no way to behave in front of a princess.
[Fiona burps louder]
Princess Fiona: Thanks.
The Donkey: [to Shrek] She's as nasty as you are.
Semmi: But where in New York can one find a woman with grace, elegance, taste and culture? A woman suitable for a king.
Prince Akeem, Semmi: Queens!
Darla: I'm a piranha! They're in the Amazon!
Dentist: And a piranha is a fish, just like your present!
There's a fly in the ointment. Shit's hittin' the fan. The lion will speak!Saul Silver
Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is.Brian Johnson
The Dude: Fuckin' Quintana... that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter Sobchak: No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh!
Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
Donny: What's a pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Can you point me to the crapper? I have to drop some timber.Joanne
Sister EncarnaciÃ³n: Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favourite animal is puppies. I like serving the lord. Hiking, play volleyball...
Nacho: You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said, is MY favourite thing to do, every day!