Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen"!

Alien toys: Strangers! From the outside! Ooooh!
Buzz Lightyear: Oh, not this again...

Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting.
Ted Nelson, Customer: Go on, I'm listening.
Tommy: Here's the way I see it, Ted. Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.
Ted Nelson, Customer: Yeah, makes a man feel good.
Tommy: 'Course it does. Why shouldn't it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?

If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks, probably like a sea monkey right now, and I should let it get a little cuter.

Juno MacGuff

We'll get him. We'll get him. Man, dont worry about that, we'll get him. And when we do, we'll blow up his car, do something. I can guarantee you that. What makes me furious is thinking about the look on Bob's fat face, thinking he pulled one over on us. I tell you another thing. If our paths cross again, you're gonna see a side of Dignan that you havent seen before. A sick, sadistic side, cause I'm furious at Bob.


Dr. Evil: All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism. Close the tank!
Scott Evil: Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away!
Dr. Evil: No no no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?
Scott Evil: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out!
Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.

Dr. Lars: It's too early to know who's winning the fight: the medicine or the disease.
George Simmons: Did anybody ever tell you, you have a very scary accent?
Dr. Lars: You are a very funny man. I enjoy your movies.
George Simmons: And I enjoy all of your movies.
Dr. Lars: [surprised] Which movies?
George Simmons: The ones where you try to kill Bruce Willis.

My grandfather was in the Tuskegee experiments.

Thurgood Jenkins

Magnus Buchan: [heavy Scottish brogue] Why dincha just piss off, Fischer? Ya dotty wee skid mark!
Max Fischer: Is that Latin?

I'm speaking clear penguin!


Felicity Shagwell: Austin Powers, I presume.
Austin: Powers by name, powers by reputation.
Felicity Shagwell: Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag very well by reputation.
Austin: Oh, bee-have.
Felicity Shagwell: Not if I can help it.

Riva: Look, if you bought Stones tickets and Jagger didn't play Satisfaction, how would you feel? Would you be happy?
Carl Casper: No.
Riva: No! You'd burn the place to the fucking ground.

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