[after teaching Jack how to evaluating a glass of wine prior to tasting] ... Are you chewing gum?

Miles Raymond

Ernie McCracken: It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.
Roy: Hey. Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.

Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.

Al Czervik

Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.

Ernie McCracken

One more time, sweetness.

Ernie McCracken

Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?

Ernie McCracken

What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? You really jarred something loose tiger.

Landlady

Ishmael: Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, eh? But I'll lose my entire bonus check because I'm so *bombed*.
McKnight Bowl Bartender: You get that way from ginger ale?
Roy: Nah, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot.

The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn't kickin' mine.

Roy

Some corn stalks were broken and I tried to fix them.

Ishmael

[to the Dude] Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community.

Malibu Police Chief

That's right, Dude, they peed on your fucking rug.

Walter Sobchak

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