One minute and five seconds; you are such my bitch.


Jack Fuller Sr.: You're like a son to me.
Jack Fuller: Dad, I am your son.

Hammacher: We are gonna wipe our schwanz on you.
Jan Wolfhouse: Bring it on meine bitch.

Greg Focker: Hey whats the good word grandpa Jack?
Jack Byrnes: This is Jack Byrnes
Greg Focker: Yeah I know, I can tell from the caller ID.

Raoul Duke: What was I doing here? What was the meaning of this trip? Was I just roaming around in a drug frenzy of some kind? Or had I really come out here to Las Vegas to work on a story? Who are these people, these faces? Where do they come from? They look like caricatures of used car dealers from Dallas, and sweet Jesus, there were a hell of a lot of them at 4:30 on a Sunday morning, still humping the American dream, that vision of the big winner somehow emerging from the last minute pre-dawn chaos of a stale Vegas casino.

The Donkey: So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?
Shrek: Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.
The Donkey: Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?
Shrek: That's the moon.
The Donkey: Oh, okay.

Ah, ah, ah! Nobody says the "B" word!


Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Without warning, I will attack you. In this way, I will keep you vigilant and alert.
[attacks Ponton, but Ponton hits Clouseau]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Good one.
Ponton: Thank you.

Hi, I'm all wet. Can I come in?


Jack Ryan: You gotta admit, this is a great boat, even if it is called the Allison.
Nancy Hayes: Wait til you see the one they name after me.

Andrew: Speak for yourself.
Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.

Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!

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