Popular Comedy Quotes
Scarface: You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace!
Thurgood Jenkins: Obviously you missed the whole point of that story.
Raoul Duke: Well? What are your plans?
Dr. Gonzo: Plans?
Raoul Duke: The child in the bedroom.
Dr. Gonzo: Oh, Lucy. I met her on the plane. Yeah, she's a religious freak. I gave her a cap before I realized... Jesus, she's never even had a drink before.
Gimbel's Manager: This, is the North Pole.
Buddy: No it isn't.
Gimbel's Manager: Yes it is.
Buddy: No it isn't.
Gimbel's Manager: Yes it is!
Buddy: No it isn't! Where's the snow?
Brian: Lady, seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I'll give you five.
Record Store Customer: Ugh-huh, he autographed it himself.
Brian: All right, I'll give you four.
So, now we all live together in New York. I myself, am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it.Thurgood Jenkins
Abba Zaba, you my only friend.Thurgood Jenkins
I didn't know that horse was a diabetic!Kenny
Scarface: Don't worry, man. All we gotta do to get you out is to get 10 percent of 10 million dollars. Which by our calculations is...
Brian: ... Fucking impossible, man!
Scarface: I got it! Why don't we sell that weed that we smoked earlier!
Thurgood Jenkins: We suggested that already!
Scarface: For real, B?
Thurgood Jenkins: [to Mary Jane] Listen, I really like you. I was just wondering maybe if you're interested we can go out later and get some ice cream or something...
Scarface: OOH! MOTHER FUCKER SAID ICE CREAM!
Brian: BLAH BLAH ICE CREAM! YOU'RE SUCH A DORK, MAN!
Thurgood Jenkins: Damn!
Buddy: [out of breath] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?
Michael: Go away !
Donny: Phone's ringing, Dude.
The Dude: Thank you, Donny.