I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.

Thurgood Jenkins

Thurgood Jenkins: You know I got some weed at work today, if y'all wanna try it out.
Scarface: Nah, we don't feel like smokin' right now.
Thurgood Jenkins: Me neither. So y'all wanna smoke?
Scarface: I'll get Billy Bong Thornton!
Brian: No man. No Billy Bong Thornton without Kenny. That wouldn't be right. Get Wesley Pipes. Yeah!

In 11 days I'm as good as skewered! Ever take your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield?

Kenny

Stephanie: [to Jack as she is beating him with her motorcycle helmet] I hope you die!
[stops beating Jack and looks at Miles]
Stephanie: You too!
Miles Raymond: Me?

Scarface: Yo I'm Cuban, B!
Samson Simpson: Yes, Cuban B.

Brian: Hey, Jan... will you be my girlfriend?
Jan: Well, I would, but I'm gay. I'm a big dyke.
Brian: Oh. What's that like?

Kenny: I love horses.
Cop: I love horses.
Kenny: I love Butterstuff.
Cop: Buttercup!
Kenny: Butternuts!
Cop: BUTTERCUP!
Kenny: Cup!

The doctor said I need a backiotomy!

Sir-Smoke-Alot

You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me.

Dr. Gonzo

Mary Jane Potman: My father's a drug dealer.
Thurgood Jenkins: Wow, that must've been the shit.
Mary Jane Potman: It ruined his life.
Thurgood Jenkins: That must've been shitty.

I'm trying to get you laid, I'd appreciate a little help!

Jack

He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.

Carl Spackler

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