Popular Comedy Quotes
This weed was the shiz-nittlebam snip-snap-sack.Thurgood Jenkins
I've heard people say you don't get high the first time you smoke. Not me. No-o, not us. WE were really, REALLY high. We was to' up!Thurgood Jenkins
Jake: Look at you, in those candy-assed monkey suits.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes. You're wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.
Yo, that shit must be good, B. My boy hasn't coughed like that since back in the day yo!Scarface
My grandfather was in the Tuskegee experiments.Thurgood Jenkins
What if we do a, uh, a different holiday around the table, Easter, and just focus on the rabbit?Whitney Taylor Brown
Kid: Mortal Kombat, on Sega Genesis, is the best video game ever.
Billy Madison: I disagree, it's a very good game, but i think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.
Kid: Donkey Kong sucks.
Billy Madison: You know something? YOU SUCK!
Lucky Day: Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.
Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: Damn it!
Anyone with a police record that long is going to make a mistake. I want all party members in the tri-state district to monitor the city, county, and state police on their CB's. Sooner or later, Mr. Elwood Blues is gonna fuck up and when he does... he'd better pray that the police get to him before we do.Head Nazi
Bartender: We don't have beer. Just tequila.
Ned Nederlander: What's tequila?
Bartender: Uh, it's like beer.
Pardon me, but we have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be present. Now, may I help you?Ray
Dying is easy. Playing a lesbian is hard.Mary Pat Hooligan