Popular Comedy Quotes
Rob: Marvin Gaye.
Laura: I know.
Rob: Let's get it on. That's our song. Marvin Gaye is responsible for our entire relationship.
Laura: Oh, is that so? I'd like a word with him then.
If you do anything to make my little sister cry or hurt her or do anything to her, I'm gonna come at you with razor blades and lemon juice.Big Jack
Emmett: You fall asleep during the West Wing.
Elle: Yeah, but have you seen what they're wearing?
The Cable Guy: Sounds like heart break to me.
Steven Kovacs: Well I really don't want to discuss it with you. Could you just install my cable please? I'm gonna go get dressed.
The Cable Guy: Suit yourself. No sweat off my sac. Oh by the way, you might wanna put on a bathing suit 'cause you'll be channel surfing in no time!
I don't have a problem with objective reporting. What I have a problem with is some wombat... coming on my boat trying to railroad me.Steve Zissou
What do you mean, better in bed? Either you do it or you don't.Linda Barrett
Lou: I have a question: Why is it that Chuck here thinks he could smoke?
Chuck: Cause I do whatever I want whenever I want, you little Spanish fruit topping.
Lou: Honey, at least I didn't make my aunt pregnant.
She's watching Riverdance. I didn't know people still watched Riverdance.Alex Rose
Ludwig: So they were able to get him to the hospital in time?
Frank: Yes, he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.
Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
[Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]
Judge Stevens: Mr. Reede, do we have a setlement?
Ned: Phil, this is the best day of my life.
Phil: Mine too.
Rita: Mine too.
Ned: Where are we going?
Rita: Oh, let's not spoil it!