Popular Comedy Quotes
Sue: Pause the game.
Trent: Wait, I'm gonna do my thing with the thing.
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.Pee-wee
Heather Duke: Veronica, can you come back here a minute?
Veronica Sawyer: A true friend's work is never done.
Heather Chandler: Gross.
Buzz Lightyear: You killed my father.
Emperor Zurg: No Buzz, I am your father.
Buzz Lightyear: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Claudia: It must be hard to spank your monkey.
Ishmael: You have a monkey?
Topper Harley: President Benson.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: No you're not. I've seen him on TV. An older man, about my height.
Michelle Huddleson: Mr. President, this is Topper Harley.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Topper Harley, of course, the son I never had. No wonder I didn't recognize you then.
Curly: Uh-oh, he's snuffocatin'!
Larry: Don't worry, I know the Heineken maneuver!
Dante Hicks: Can you feel it?
Randal Graves: Feel what?
Dante Hicks: Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.
James Carter: What are they gonna do to us Li?
Lee: First they will torture us for 3 days.
James Carter: Ok,I can take that.
Lee: Then they will cut off our egg roles.
James Carter: Cut off our egg roles... Aww hell no we gotta get outta here
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: I say we give the blues brothers one more chance
Donald 'Duck' Dunn: Why not? If the shit fits, wear it.
Walter Stratford: This morning, I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl, do you know what she said to me?
Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeazy boyfriend wear a condom"?
Walter Stratford: Close, but no. She said, "I should have listened to my father".
Bianca: She did not.
Walter Stratford: Well, that's what should would have said if she wasn't so doped up!
Jackie: Hello, Joel. I'm Jackie.
Joel Goodson: Hello, Jackie. I'm not Joel. Joel stepped out for a moment. Hold on... I'll go call him.