Popular Comedy Quotes
[to the groundhog] Don't drive angry. Do not drive angry.Phil
Miles Raymond: Hey, what should I wear?
Jack: I don't know, something casual but nice. They think you're a writer.
Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.Phil
Ned: "Needle-nose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing. Ned Ryerson, got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson? I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple of times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
Phil: Ned Ryerson!
Ned: Phil? Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you!
Phil: Hi, thanks for watching.
Ned: Hey now, don't you tell me you don't remember me 'cause I sure as heckfire remember you!
Phil: Not a chance.
Ned: Ned... Ryerson!
What is this, 1958? Give the little wife a blender?Annie
Mother of God, there I am! Holy fuck...Raoul Duke
We know what you're up to man.Dr. Gonzo
George: Annie, it's a little nippy out, you might want to put on a sweater.
Annie: Dad, it's okay, I'm kinda warm.
George: Still, there's a chill in the air and you've been on a plane.
Annie: Dad, I'm fine.
Bryan: Annie, it is kinda cold out.
Annie: It is?
Annie: All right, thanks, I'll get my jacket.
Matty Banks: Can I put Cameron back on the list if he promises not to eat?
George: You know, that's not a bad idea. Who else can we ask not to eat? My parents and your mother.
Annie: Why don't we just charge people? That way we can make money on the wedding?
Try to be your normal, humorous self. The guy you were before the tailspin. Do you remember that guy? People love that guy.Jack
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.Al Czervik