Steve Stifler: I love the Twilight books. New Moon is my favorite!
Teen Girl: Mine too!
Steve Stifler: Oh my god, it's like, we have so much in common!

[Asking the flight attendant] Could I get a real bottle please? I'm an alcoholic not a Barbie doll.

Maggie Hoffman

Heather Duke: Veronica, can you come back here a minute?
Veronica Sawyer: A true friend's work is never done.
Heather Chandler: Gross.

[to Alyssa] Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?

Banky Edwards

Lone Starr: Barf! Barf! BARF!
Barf: Always when I'm eating!

Oh, I love the fuck out of this song!


Officer Watkins: You called about your neighbors?
Mac Radner: No.
Officer Watkins: We have caller ID, we're cops, everybody has caller ID.

Cher: I want to do something for humanity.
Josh: How about sterilization?

I want to give this child a typical African-American name. Ojay.


Randy Daytona: You killed him...
Feng: Well duh, what part of sudden death didn't you understand?

Jimmy: THAT was disgusting.
Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.

Alvin: [during a chase] They'll never take us alive!
Simon: [in the cat carrier] They just did take us alive, Alvin!

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