Jacob: "Nobody f***s my mother in the past!"
Kelly: "I feel pregnant."
Lou: "You're welcome."

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Al Czervik

Matilda: When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
Derek Zoolander: Ew!

[upon waking up after the first night of training, next to a deer he killed with his teet] Oh no, not again!

Barry Badrinath

This is it, Aaron. This is rock n' roll. Did you enjoy the party?

Aldous Snow

Heather Duke: Veronica, can you come back here a minute?
Veronica Sawyer: A true friend's work is never done.
Heather Chandler: Gross.

Droz: Are we having a party tonight or what?
Cecilia: Well, there's no publicity, so there's no people; Gutter never showed up, so there's no beer; instruments just blew out, so there's no band; and I think Raji and Deege may be dead.
Droz: Wait a minute... no beer? Well, where the hell's Gutter?
Katy: Probably in a parking lot somewhere picking his nose.

The only way to beat my crazy was by doing something even crazier. Thank you. I love you. I knew it from the moment I saw you. I'm sorry it took me so long to catch up.


Film School Student: Why'd you skip film school? Don't you think you're a little young?
Eli: Shut the fuck up. Next question.

Ian Miller: May I please date your daughter?
Gus Portokalos: NO!

Alvin: [during a chase] They'll never take us alive!
Simon: [in the cat carrier] They just did take us alive, Alvin!

Pintel: You know you can't read.
Ragetti: It's the Bible, you get credit for trying.

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