Jack: Do not drink too much. Do you hear me? I don't want you passing out or going to the dark side. No going to the dark side!
Miles Raymond: Okay!

French journalist: Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or woman?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well of course I know that! What else is there? A kitten?

Hey, you wanna go feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?

Frank

When I first heard the name Clouseau, he was a little nothing. Just another police officer in a small village far from Paris. He was the village idiot, I think.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus

I had been nominated for the Medal of Honor. I have been so nominated seven times. I have never won. Still, seven times, that is something.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus

A Woman is like an artichoke, you must work hard to get to her heart.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

Gloria Cleary: I've been thinking about what you said and I think the problem is that I'm not being adventurous enough for you.
Jeremy Grey: Gloria, I think that's the complete opposite of what I was saying.

You are Yuri the trainer who trains.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

Napoleon Dynamite: What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro: It's a sledgehammer.
Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?
Napoleon Dynamite: [Cut to Pedro jumping] You got like three feet of air that time.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I'll be honest with you. I - I find your accent quite funny. Where are you fvam?
Yuri: From Russia. Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [mocking him] "do-do-do-ba-ba-lo"
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You need to work on your accent.

I know it's deviant... but it's kinda turning me on.
[kisses Michael again]

Donna Newman

Jack: This chick Stephanie, she's got it all goin' on.
Miles Raymond: Well, she is cute, yeah.
Jack: Cute? She's a fuckin' hottie. And you almost tell her that I'm gettin' married? What's the matter with you?

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