May I have ten thousand marbles, please?

Flounder

Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps.

Bluto

Don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring too. He's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible.

Jennings

Pinto: I won't go schizo, will I?
Jennings: It's a distinct possibility.

Doug Neidermeyer: How does it feel to be an independent, Schoenstein?
Boon: How does it feel to be an asshole, Neidermeyer?

Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up ON Dean Wormer.

Pinto: I was thinking, maybe we could get some beer.
Clorette De Pasto: Nah, not tonight. Besides, you might get lucky without it.

They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

Hoover

Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married.

Clorette De Pasto

Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure!
Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time!
Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law.
Boon: I thought you were pre-med.
Otter: What's the difference?

You can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

Otter

Otter: Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we...
Mandy Pepperidge: Go away!
Otter: I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat?
Mandy Pepperidge: Do I have to leave?
Otter: Is this any way to treat an intimate friend?

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