Jennings: Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.
Boon: How long you been workin' on it?
Jennings: Four and a half years.
Pinto: It must be very good.
Jennings: It's a piece of shit.

Hoover: Will you tell those assholes to shut up?
Boon: Hey! Shut up you assholes!

Otter: Ah, she broke our date.
Boon: Washing her hair?
Otter: Dead mother.

I hate those guys.

Dean Vernon Wormer

Ramming speed!

D-Day

Food fight!

Bluto

And most recently of all, a "Roman Toga Party" was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.

Doug Neidermeyer

Oh ... my ... God.

Dean Vernon Wormer

Boon: I gotta work on my game.
Otter: No, no, no, don't think of it as work. The whole point is just to enjoy yourself.

Pinto: Before we go any further, there's something I have to tell you. I lied to you. I've never done this before.
Clorette De Pasto: You've never made out with a girl before?
Pinto: No. No, I mean, I've never done what I think we're gonna do. I sort of did once, but i was...
Clorette De Pasto: That's okay, Larry. Neither have I. And besides, I lied to you, too.
Pinto: Oh, yeah? What about?
Clorette De Pasto: I'm only 13.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair. I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins.

Dr. Evil

Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.

Austin Powers

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