Popular Comedy Quotes
I had to go to Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as, "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?"Toula Portokalos
Hey, you guys!Sloth
[to Pintel and Ragetti] Guard the boat, mind the tide... don't touch my dirt.Jack Sparrow
[reaches out to catch some rainwater in a water gourd in the treehouse that serves as his residence] Sure-fire remedy - learned it from an old medicine man... works every time.Big Z
Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.
I don't believe in God, I believe in science.Esqueleto
I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them.Dewey Finn
We need to come up with a slogan. You know, like "Life is like a box of chocolates," or "Take my hands, boss." Like that monster tard off of "Green Mile."Gary
Marilyn Hack and trash, what a juxtaposition.Chuck Porter
Chon Wang: What happened my horse? Is he dead?
Roy O'Bannon: No, but we are, Chon.
Hi peter, I saw your billboards, they're spectacular. I'm sorry for calling you a whore. Best of luck with Sydney, if you're not still together... you can Facebook me.Doug
Because you insist on talking about Dad's bowel movements; size, color, frequency, I"LL CALL YA LATER!Fletcher