Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

Cocaine Addict

Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs.
Gibbs: Captain.
Jack Sparrow: We have a need to travel upriver.
Gibbs: By "need," do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a fancy?
Jack Sparrow: No, a resolute and unyielding need.

Gangster: You got some big a** balls, man.
Noah: Can't find underwear. Balls don't fit.

Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: No you're not wrong.
Walter Sobchak: Am I wrong?
The Dude: You're not wrong Walter. You're just an asshole.
Walter Sobchak: All right then.

Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.


Pack it in, Frank, you silly bastard!

Nicholas Angel

Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey.

Big Worm

Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'?

Ulysses Everett McGill

Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes " Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.

Dale Doback

[to wife] You're an inanimate fuckin' object!


Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.

Van Wilder

Hurry up big boy, I'm naked and I want you at least twice before Jamie gets home.

Jamie's Girlfriend

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