I was a lesbian once at school, but only for about 15 minutes.

Fiona

Charles: Why am I always at, uh, weddings, and never actually getting married, Matt?
Matthew: It's probably 'cause you're a bit scruffy. Or it could also be 'cause you haven't met the right girl.
Charles: Ah, but you see, is that it? Maybe I have met the right girls. Maybe I meet the right girls all the time. Maybe it's me.

Oh, I don't know, Charlie. Unlike you, I never expected "the thunderbolt." I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.

Tom

Tom: The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you.

I remember the first time I saw Gareth on a dance floor. I feared lives would be lost.

Matthew

In the name of the father, the son and the holy goat. Eh...GHOST!

Father Gerald

Carrie: Our timing has been very bad.
Charles: Yes it has been. Very bad.
Carrie: It's been a disaster.
Charles: It has been, as you say, very bad indeed.

Charles: Tom, are you the richest man in England?
Tom: Oh, no. We're... like, seventh.

Fiona: Where's Gareth?
Matthew: Torturing Americans.
Fiona: How thoughtful of him.

Charles: Let me ask you one thing. Do you think - after we've dried off, after we've spent lots more time together - you might agree NOT to marry me? And do you think not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider doing for the rest of your life?
Carrie: I do.

American guest: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde?
Gareth: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?

Matthew: Sorry we're so late. The others are just parking the car, I thought we'd all go with Tom.
Charles: Late? So late?
Matthew: Yeah. It's 9:45.
Charles: 9:45?
Matthew: Yep. 45 minutes until "I do."

FREE Movie Newsletter