Popular Comedy Quotes
What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?Jeff Spicoli
[repeatedly singing] And we're the three best friends that anyone could have!Alan Garner
Oh Veronica Vaughn! So hot! Want to touch the hiney! Arrroooooooo!Billy Madison
Come on. We're men, we're not pinatas!Roy O'Bannon
Daughter, husbands like Man-Who-Fights-in-Dress don't come along every day.Sioux Chief
There's a saying in Missouri, if you don't like the weather just wait five minutes. In Blaine, with hard work, I think we can get that down to three or four minutes.Glenn Welsch, Mayor
Pardon me, but we have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be present. Now, may I help you?Ray
Can I have a slice of your doody?Steve Barker
She's sweet, but she's fucked-up.Herman Blume
For once, I would love to see someone on that couch who's under eighty-five!Max Bialystock
Crying Drunk Girl: Thush bezt tea weveram sisu gizem chext ear!
[subtitled translation: This is the best party ever! I'm so gonna miss you guys next year!]
[she trows her arms around them and stumbles off]
Preston: There's one at every party.
Denise: Kind of makes you never want to drink, huh?
Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this motherfucker down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this motherfucker down! Come on, Pookie! Let's burn it, Pookie! Let's burn this motherfucker down! Let's burn it down! Let's burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle.Burger Shack Employee