Popular Comedy Quotes
A Mo-Jo, it's a very high-tech machine that transmits pages over the telephone! It only takes 18 minutes a page!Ben Fong-Torres
[in the middle of a class lecture] Rock stars have kidnapped my son!Elaine Miller
I hurt the flower.Russell Hammond
Never take it seriously, you never get hurt. Never get hurt, you can always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends.Penny Lane
Penny Lane: How old are you?
William Miller: Eighteen.
Penny Lane: Me too! How old are we really?
William Miller: Seventeen.
Penny Lane: Me too!
William Miller: Actually, I'm sixteen.
Penny Lane: Me too. Isn't it funny? The truth just sounds different.
William Miller: I'm fifteen.
Is it that hard to make us look cool?Jeff Bebe
It's all happening!Polexia Aphrodisia
Polexia Aphrodisia: Do you have any pot?
William Miller: No. I'm a journalist.
Polexia Aphrodisia: Well, go do your job then. You're on the road, man. It's all happening! Get in there. Go talk to 'em!
William Miller: I have to go home.
Penny Lane: You are home.
[Russell grabs phone from William] Hey, mom! Its Russell Hammond. I play guitar in Stillwater. Hey, how does it feel to be the mother of the greatest rock journalist we've met? Hello? Hello? Look, you've got a really great kid here. There's nothing to worry about. We're taking good care of him, and you should come to the show sometime - join the circus...Russell Hammond
[on the phone] I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.Elaine Miller
Elaine Miller: This is not some ignorant mother you're speaking to. I know all about your decadence and I should not have let him go. He's not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking to you clearly?
Russell Hammond: Yes ... yes, ma'am.