Popular Comedy Quotes
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: I think it's criminal that Steve allowed this to happen, by which I mean illegal. We're being led on an illegal suicide mission by a selfish maniac.
Klaus Daimler: I hear what you're saying, but I think you misjudge the guy.
Vladimir Wolodarsky: [talking about Jane] I like her hairdo.
PelÃ© dos Santos: Me too, but Steve called her first.
Is that one of mine? I think one of my research turtles survived.Alistair Hennessey
Don't be mean to me. I just wanted to flirt with you.Steve Zissou
Oseary Drakoulias: By the way, who knocked up the journalist?
Steve Zissou: I'm not sure.
I don't have a problem with objective reporting. What I have a problem with is some wombat... coming on my boat trying to railroad me.Steve Zissou
Good lord. God protect that poor little stooge.Oseary Drakoulias
Vladimir Wolodarsky: Steve, one of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor.
Steve Zissou: All right, just make sure we steal the backup.
Bill Ubell: Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities...
Steve Zissou: Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.
Ned Plimpton: I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
[Steve hits Ned in the face]
Steve Zissou: You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
Ned Plimpton: You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
Steve Zissou: Okay, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
[Ned hits Steve in the face]
Steve Zissou: I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.
I smell something weird down here. Smells like ya'll been hitting the Devil's lettuce.Martin
Eddie Cantrow: This is my dad.
Lila: Oh, hi Dad.
Doc: Nice to meet you, Lila.
Lila: How do you know my name?
Doc: Okay, cat's out of the bag. My son found your panties on the sidewalk and we've been talking about you all week. Eddie, give her back her undies.