I love the way this country smells. I'll never forget it. It's kind of spicy.


This is my life, Dad, this is it. I spent 26 years waiting for something else to start, so, no, I don't think it's too much to take on, because it's everything there is. I see now it's all of it. You and I are gonna be OK, you know that, right? We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but for the first time let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are and that will be better. OK? I think that will be better.

Andrew Largeman

Pinto: Before we go any further, there's something I have to tell you. I lied to you. I've never done this before.
Clorette De Pasto: You've never made out with a girl before?
Pinto: No. No, I mean, I've never done what I think we're gonna do. I sort of did once, but i was...
Clorette De Pasto: That's okay, Larry. Neither have I. And besides, I lied to you, too.
Pinto: Oh, yeah? What about?
Clorette De Pasto: I'm only 13.

Tripp: Do you have real feelings?
Paula: Of course I have real feelings!
Tripp: For what?
Paula: For you! And believe me I did not want that because I had a good life before you. Well, not good... but... it was okay. Well... it was empty actually, but at least I was blissfully unaware of how miserable I was. Where as now... because of you... I am acutely aware of how completely and totally unhappy I am. Thank you for that.

I want what any princess wants - to live happily ever after... with the *ogre* I married.

Princess Fiona

Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
El Guapo: Eh?
Ned Nederlander: Tell us we will die like dogs.
El Guapo: You *will* die like dogs.

Out of all the Korean liquor stores, why did my dad have to walk into that one?

Ling Ling

George: Drive carefully. And don't forget to fasten your condom.
Annie: Dad!
George: [shrieks in embarrassment] Seat belt! I meant, I meant seat belt.

Bertram Pincus: I was dead and now they brought me back. I can..I can..
Frank Herlihy: The dead have a lot of unfinished business, which is why we're still here.

Matthew: Do you have the fever?
Klitz: No. Why? Do you?
Matthew: I don't know. Maybe.
[turns to Eli]
Matthew: How 'bout you?
Eli: I just gotta fuck something.

Thorny: Look, kid, he doesn't want it.
Farva: I can handle this, Thorn. I don't want it!
Dimpus Burger Guy: Uhh, right. Beverage?
Farva: Gimme a liter o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: What?
Farva: [Annoyed] A liter o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Litercola? Do we sell litercola?
Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva?
Farva: I don't want a large farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!
Dimpus Burger Guy: [to Farva] I don't know what that is!
Farva: [slowly starts shouting] Liter is French for...
[grabs burger kid by shirt]
Farva: ... give me my fuckin' cola before I break VOUS FUCKIN' LIP!

Frank: Good night Dwayne.
Dwayne: [scribbles on notepad] Don't kill yourself tonight.
Frank: Not on your watch Dwayne. I wouldn't do that to you.
Dwayne: [on notepad] Welcome to hell.
Frank: Thanks Dwayne. Coming from you that means a lot.

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