I am angry. I mean I am spitting angry. I'm like a tornado of anger, swirling about.

Phil Weston

I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9-11, I told bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.

Milton Waddams

It's so beautiful!... Let's live here. [he kisses Rita] We'll rent, to start.


Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Frank Drebin

Vincent Benedict: Through the lips, over the gums...
Julius Benedict: Look out stomach! Here it comes!

Judge Smails: Oh Porterhouse, look at the wax build up on these shoes I want that wax stripped off there, then I want them creamed and buffed with a fine chamois, and I want them now. Chop chop.
Smoke Porterhouse: Yes judge, right away judge.

Jake Taylor: That ball wouldn't have been out of a lot of parks.
Rick Vaughn: Name one.
Jake Taylor: Yellowstone?

We're the 3 best friends that anybody could have.
We're the 3 best friends that anyone could have, we're the 3 best friends that anyone can have and we'll never never ever ever ever leave each other."

Alan [singing]

I'd do it again you know? Us, you, me the kids, all of it. I'd do it again. I'd choose you every time.

Phil Foster

Rabbit: [lifting soap out of coffee] Oh, look, a bar of soap.
Farva: Oohoohoh shit. I got you good, you fucker!
Mac: Awesome prank, Farva.
Farva: Better'n the crap you pull, Mac.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I lurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do?

Alvy Singer

Jess: Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry Burns: Oh really? Well, that "symptom" is fucking my wife.

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