Fiona: Where's Gareth?
Matthew: Torturing Americans.
Fiona: How thoughtful of him.

I think we both missed a great opportunity here.

Carrie

Charles: Let me ask you one thing. Do you think - after we've dried off, after we've spent lots more time together - you might agree NOT to marry me? And do you think not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider doing for the rest of your life?
Carrie: I do.

American guest: Do you actually know Oscar Wilde?
Gareth: Not personally no. But I do know someone who could get you his fax number. Shall we dance?

Matthew: Sorry we're so late. The others are just parking the car, I thought we'd all go with Tom.
Charles: Late? So late?
Matthew: Yeah. It's 9:45.
Charles: 9:45?
Matthew: Yep. 45 minutes until "I do."

Scarlett: Isn't she beautiful?
Fiona: Scarlett, you're blind, she looks like a big meringue.

The castle beckons, I think Tom.

Gareth

Did anyone else tread in a cowpat? No, thought not.

Tom

Another wedding invitation. And a list. Lovely.

Charles

Scarlotta! Fabulous dress. The ecclesiastical purple and the pagan orange symbolizing the mystical symbiosis in marriage between the heathen and Christian traditions?

Gareth

Charles: We were buying her a wedding dress.
David: Pathetic excuse. Who's she marrying?
Charles: Some total penis.
David: What is it about penises that they get such great wives?

I am a golden god!

Russell Hammond

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