Popular Comedy Quotes
Karen: I happen to LIKE the roller coaster, okay? As far as I'm concerned, your grandmother is brilliant.
Gil: Yeah if she's so brilliant why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR'S CAR?
Trent: Baby, that was money! Tell me that wasn't money.
Mike: That was so demeaning.
Trent: She smiled, baby.
Mike: I can't believe what an asshole you are.
Trent: Did she, or did she not smile.
Mike: She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
Trent: She was smiling at how money I am, baby.
Dusty Bottoms: Time for plan B. Plan A was to break into El Guapo's fortress.
Carmen: And that you have done, now what?
Dusty Bottoms: Well we really dont have a plan B. We didn't expect for the first plan to work. Sometimes you can overplan these things.
Wayne Davidson: My name's Wayne by the way. I'm a nudist.
George: Oh yes, we noticed your penis earlier.
Goonies never say die!Mikey
Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!
Jonah: What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' loose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!
Michael Newman: [in a flashback of his and Donna's first kiss, just as it occurs] Yeah!
Janine: [offscreen] Donna!
[appears onscreen dressed as a punk, sees them kissing]
Janine: Donna - Oh, my God! I'm so horny now.
Michael Newman: Oh, God. Get me out of here.
Marty DiBergi: It's such an interesting concept, mixing mime and food.
Morty the Mime: It's a kick isn't it? Well, I used to be an actor but I could never remember my lines, so I thought "just shut up", you know? Don't say nothing. And my father used to say the same thing to me every dinner time, he used to say to me "shut up and eat", so that's what we do and that's the name of the company "shut up and eat."
Daphne Wilder: What are you gonna do with your hair? Maybe you oughta button these buttons, you look like you're asking for it.
Milly: I am asking for it!
Mrs. Plum: Stephanie started a new job!
Stephanie Plum: Yeah, I did. I just got a gun.
Mrs. Plum: Whoa! (Grandma Mazur checks out the gun and proceeds to shoot the chicken sitting on the dinner table)
Mrs. Plum: Put the gun away, ma!
Mr. Plum: She belongs in a home.
Grandma Mazur: Shot that sucker in the gumpy...
Elwood: I'm gonna quit work first thing in the morning.
Jake: And how are you gonna get to work, Mr. Lead Foot, Mr. Hot Rod, Mr Motor Head? Those cops took your license away. They got your name, your address.
Elwood: No they don't got my address. I falsified my renewal. I put 1060 West Addison.
Jake: 1060 West Addison? That's Wrigley Field.
Max Fischer: How the hell did you get so rich? You're a quitter, man!
Herman Blume: I spent eight million dollars on this.
Max Fischer: And is that all you're willing to spend?