Popular Comedy Quotes
Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.
Isaac Davis: The steel cube was brilliant?
Mary Wilke: Yes. To me it was very textual, you know what I mean? It was perfectly integrated, and it had a marvelous kind of negative capability. The rest of the stuff downstairs was bullshit.
Susan Cooper: [Wakes up next to Ford in bed] Aaaaah!
Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it.
Man in Hallway: Think it'll be an early spring?
Phil: Winter, slumbering in the open air, wears on its smiling face a dream... of spring. Ciao.
Man in Hallway: Ciao.
Earl Bassett: They must be long gone by now.
Valentine McKee: Yeah. Hey, why don't you go take a little stroll and find out?
Jake Taylor: That's my wife...
Willie Mays Hayes: Does she know that?
Jake Taylor: Well, she would've been if I hadn't screwed it up... who's that guy she's with?
Willie Mays Hayes: I don't know. He's not wearing a nametag.
Rick Vaughn: Want me to drag him outta here, kick the sh!t out of him?
Let us have pirates, clowns, and a happy ending, or we shall send you back to Stratford to your wife!Philip Henslowe
Frank here was staring at a white picket fence. Now he's single, he's broke, and has second degree burns all over his body. And I see a spark in his eye that I haven't seen in fifteen years.Beanie
Choir singer: [to himself] Just focus on the music, think melody, let the music be my guide.
Heather: Yeah, that'd be a start.
Jay: So your in this for the pussy right?
Brent: No, I'm in this because I LOOOVE animals, stupid?
Jay: Even Sheep?
Brent: Of course. Sheep are beautiful creatures.
Jay: So would you fuck a sheep?
Brent: What is your damage, little boy. You have a sick and twisted world perspective.
Jay: No, you're misunderstaning me, Prince Valiant. I'm saying if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep, if you were another sheep?
Brent: Well, in that case, you bet your sweet ass I would.
Jay: Thought so.
But you know the thing about romance is people only get together right at the very end.Sam
They went with someone who had more theme-park experience.Rob