Klaus Daimler: So, you really think you're a Zissou.
Ned Plimpton: I don't know.
Klaus Daimler: Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.
Ned Plimpton: That's true. But it's important to me.
Klaus Daimler: Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.
Ned Plimpton: Klaus, don't call me "sonny."
Klaus Daimler: And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show.

Steve Zissou: I wanted to give you a heads-up on what I thought of the piece...
Jane Winslett-Richardson: You read it. What did you think?
Steve Zissou: Well, I was a little upset at first. I mean, obviously people are going to think I'm a showboat, and a little bit of a prick. But then I thought... that's me. I said those things, I did those things. I can live with that. You're a good writer, Jane.
Jane Winslett-Richardson: It's the effing cover.
Steve Zissou: Thatta girl.

Jane Winslett-Richardson: [about her baby] In twelve years, he'll be eleven and a half.
Steve Zissou: [pause] That was my favorite age.

Steve Zissou: This bull dyke's got something against us.
Ned Plimpton: I don't think she's a lesbian. She's pregnant.

Alistair Hennessey: You're the most ravishing creature that I've ever seen in my life.
Eleanor Zissou: Hello Skinny.
Alistair Hennessey: Hello Eleanor.
Eleanor Zissou: Is that a new merit badge?
Alistair Hennessey: Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball...
Steve Zissou: Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis.

Oseary Drakoulias: I spoke with Larry Amin, and it's a pass.
Steve Zissou: In other words, you fucked us!
Oseary Drakoulias: Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear.

Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned Plimpton: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?

Ned Plimpton: Who locked us out?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No-one, we're trespassing.
Ned Plimpton: Steve, are we allowed in here?
Steve Zissou: It's a scientific community, man.

Anne-Marie Sakowitz: I think it's criminal that Steve allowed this to happen, by which I mean illegal. We're being led on an illegal suicide mission by a selfish maniac.
Klaus Daimler: I hear what you're saying, but I think you misjudge the guy.

Vladimir Wolodarsky: [talking about Jane] I like her hairdo.
Pelé dos Santos: Me too, but Steve called her first.

Is that one of mine? I think one of my research turtles survived.

Alistair Hennessey

Don't be mean to me. I just wanted to flirt with you.

Steve Zissou

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