[the videotape of Shannon back-dooring Trica is playing on the big screen, with cheesy 70s porno music in background]
Shannon Hamilton: Yeah, who's your favourite New Kid. Yeah, call me Joey. Oh, come on. Don't make me get loose. Yeah, that's right. Call me Donnie. Oh, girl. Oh, please don't go girl.
Jay: Goddamn. This is one wacky game show.
Brodie: [to the cops] Hey! That girl's only 15!
[cops focus their attention on Shannon]
Shannon Hamilton: Ah, 15. I thought she was 36!
[cops are approaching him]
Shannon Hamilton: Come on, guys. Tell me you wouldn't have popped her.

Andrew: What do you need a fake I.D. for?
Brian: So I can vote.

Crush: You, Mini-Man, takin' on the jellies. You've got serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome.
Marlin: Oh, my stomach. Ohh.
Crush: Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, okay? Just waxed it.
Marlin: So, Mr. Turtle?
Crush: Whoa, Dude. Mister Turtle is my father. The name's Crush.
Marlin: Crush, really? Okay, Crush. I need to get to the East Australian Current. EAC?
Crush: [Laughing] Oh, dude. You're ridin' it, dude! Check it out!

98% of people will die sometime in their lives.

Ricky Bobby

Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?
Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?
Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?
Wench: Dude, I got a lot of tables.

Damn skippy!

Stephanie Plum

Farva: Don't call me radio, unit 91.
Mac: Then don't call me unit 91, radio.
Farva: Are you done?

Seth: Hey Greg, why don't you go piss your pants?
Greg the Soccer Player: [turning around] That was like 8 years ago, asshole!
Seth: [yelling] People don't forget!

I almost numchucked you, you don't even realize!

Chazz Reingold

I bring iPod back from America and I get my neighbor iPod mini... because it is for girls!


I'm a peacock, you've gotta let me FLY!

Terry Hoitz

I'm so lonely, I paid a hobo to spoon with me.

Ron Burgundy

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