George Downes: Michaels chasing Kimmy.
Julianne Potter: Yes.
George Downes: Your chasing Michael.
Julianne Potter: Yes.
George Downes: Who's chasing you. Nobody. Theres your answer. It's Kimmy.

Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.


You know, what have we learned here today? Perhaps it's that no one can take your mojo. You can look around all you want, but what you're really trying to find is on the inside. Take care of yourself, and each other.

Jerry Springer

Gill: From this moment on, you shall now be known as Sharkbait.
Bloat, Gurgle, Bubbles: Sharkbait! Hoo ha ha!
Gill: Welcome, Brother Sharkbait!
Bloat, Gurgle, Bubbles: Sharkbait! Hoo ha ha!
Gill: Enough with the Sharkbait.
Gurgle: Sharkbait! Hoo... bop pa doo.

No, I'm over your head, because your head's up your ass.

Miles Logan

I had my window?


Sheriff: Are you fucking crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go.

Kate Veatch: For instance, do you realize you haven't collected any membership fees in 13 months?
Peter La Fleur: Hmmm...
Kate Veatch: I'm curious, is it strictly apathy, or do you really not have a goal in life?
Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.
Kate Veatch: Well I guess that makes sense, in a really sad way.
Peter La Fleur: Sad? You want to know what's sad? Six grown men playing dodgeball.

Kumar: [in surgery] Hang on a second, nurse. What we should probably use is marijuana. That'll sufficiently sedate the patient for surgery.
Male Nurse: Marijuana?... But why?
Kumar: We don't have time for questions. We need marijuana now, as much of it as possible! Like a big bag of it.

[looking at the huge castle] Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?


This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.


Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can't do this.
Data: Why?
Mikey: Why?
Stef: Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.

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