Popular Comedy Quotes
My mommy says Fanny's Burgers make kids fat and give you gas.Peyton Kelly
Bostun Webels, experience the heat. Buston Webels, catch the magik. Buston Webels, catch... who wites this?Joe Kingman
Joe Kingman: I thought you were dead.
Karen Kelly: I can assure you I am NOT dead.
[to Joe] Ballerinas can jump just as high as you but when they come down they come down in plies, and then they stand pointe, and they stand like that for hours. If ballet was easy, it would be called football.Monique Vasquez
Karen Kelly: How are things going there?
Peyton Kelly: Terrific, the food's not all that great, but my room is huge.
Joe Kingman: What did you put in those cookies?
Peyton Kelly: Um, milk, flour, eggs, cinnamon.
Joe Kingman: Cinammon? I'm allergic to cinnamon!
Peyton Kelly: I'm sorry.
Joe Kingman: You're sowry? I'm talking like t'his and all you can say is you're sowry?
Peyton Kelly: I'm allergic to nuts.
Peyton, I still haven't answered your question. After this game, win or lose, you're still the best thing that ever happened to me.Joe Kingman
Peyton Kelly: My mom says that she fell in love with you because you played guitar and you sounded like Elvis.
Joe Kingman: Really?
Joe Kingman: Well what do you think?
Peyton Kelly: I think my mom was tone deaf and you sound more like an injured moose.
I love you too, but I'm gonna mace you in the face!Jack
I wonder if the three of us would've been friends in real life. Not as brothers, but as people.Jack
Jack: What did he say?
Peter: He said the train is lost.
Jack: How can a train be lost? It's on rails.
Rita: What's wrong with you?
Jack: I honestly don't know. I'll tell you the next time I see you.