Popular Comedy Quotes
Erica, you are a woman to love.Harry
[Looking at a suspicious-looking passerby]
Nicholas Angel: All right, what about this guy? Ask yourself, why has he got his hat pulled down like that?
Danny Butterman: He's fuck-ugly.
Nicholas Angel: Or, he doesn't want you to see his face.
Danny Butterman: Yeah, it's 'cause he's fuck-ugly.
Ed: You gonna thank me then?
Shaun: For what?
Ed: Tidying up!
Shaun: Doesn't look that tidy.
Ed: Well, I had a few beers when I finished.
Mini Me? Mini Me? For God's sake would somone put a fricken bell on him or something.Dr. Evil
Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!
Rusty Griswold: [Grabs Clark's shoulder] Dad, you want an aspirin?
Clark: Don't touch!
Athena: I'm going to The Jewel. Listen, I'll get you some pantyhose.
Maria Portokalos: No queen size. They make me look fat.
Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish.
[Lucentio's line from The Taming of the Shrew Act I Scene 1]
Michael: Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep, I'm sure.
Rhonda LeBeck: They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
Valentine McKee: Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!
Earl Bassett: Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?
My mom and dad are very religious. At night I hear them scream, Jesus!Girl
[to Fred] You're not Alec!Stephen Baldwin
There's right and there's right and never the twain shall meet.H.I.
I got a full-on robot chubby.Evil Ted