Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry.
Jerry Lundegaard: Okay.
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna sit here and debate.

Oh, fuck it, I don't have to talk either, man! See how you like it. Just total fuckin' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

Carl Showalter

Carl Showalter: I want to go somewhere where I can get a shot and a steak, maybe, not more fuckin' pancakes, c'mon. Come on, man! Alright ... here's an idea. I know this place outside of Brainerd where we can get laid, what do you think?
Gaer Grimsrud: I'm fucking hungry now, you know.

O.K., we'll stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?

Carl Showalter

Lou: You alright there, Margie?
Marge Gunderson: Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf... Well, that passed. Now I'm hungry again.

I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.

Marge Gunderson

Carl Showalter: The fuck happened to her?
Gaear Grimsrud: Eh, she started shrieking, you know.

But you're sayin'... what are ya sayin'?

Stan Grossman

So, uh, you married old Norm son-of-a-Gunderson?

Mike Yanagita

OK, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here and then this execution-type deal.

Marge Gunderson

Just keep it still back there lady or we're going to have to, you know, shoot you.

Carl Showalter

You have no call to get snippy with me; I'm just trying to do my job here.

Marge Gunderson

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