Meeting with sinister types much? A not too much, a much too much.


He'll keep calling me, he'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is uh... This is ridiculous, ok I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What - I'LL GO. Shit.


Teacher: Now, I'm returning your papers on the Salem Witch Trials. I'm sad to report that Eden here got the only A.
Jessica: That's not fair. She's the only one who was actually there.
Eden: [Everyone laugh as Eden chants] Hexum maleficium spiritum sanctum nostradumus!

Deputy Chief Harvey: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
Jenko: It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...
Deputy Chief Harvey: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...

Rita: What's wrong with you?
Jack: I honestly don't know. I'll tell you the next time I see you.

Annie: So what are you hiding from the law or is it just a bad nose job?
Penelope: Mhm, bad nose job.

I don't know what happened! I mean, I just tried to talk to these guys, and then there was a dust buster, a toupee and a life raft exploded... now ones bald ones in a boat and they're both unconscious!

Barry B. Benson

If you want to pick a fight with your sexual chi, it's just going to drive it inwards - and that invites disease, and death.


Greg Focker: Hey Jack, why don't you tell 'em about your little phone call in Thai.
Dina Byrnes: Jack can't talk Thai.
Greg Focker: Oh no, Dina, Jack can talk Thai. Jack talked Thai real well.

Willie Mays Hayes. I hit like Mays, and I run like Hayes.

Willie Mays Hayes

Keep Patty away from Larry - suck the intelligence right out of her.



Detective John Kimble

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