Popular Comedy Quotes
Marty DiBergi: Now, during the Flower People period, who was your drummer?
David St. Hubbins: Stumpy's replacement, Peter James Bond. He also died in mysterious circumstances. We were playing a, uh...
Nigel Tufnel: ...Festival.
David St. Hubbins: Jazz blues festival. Where was that?
Nigel Tufnel: Blues jazz, really.
Derek Smalls: Blues jazz festival. Misnamed.
Nigel Tufnel: It was in the Isle of, uh...
David St. Hubbins: Isle of Lucy. The Isle of Lucy jazz and blues festival.
Nigel Tufnel: And, uh, it was tragic, really. He exploded on stage.
Derek Smalls: Just like that.
David St. Hubbins: He just went up.
Nigel Tufnel: He just was like a flash of green light... And that was it. Nothing was left.
David St. Hubbins: Look at his face.
Nigel Tufnel: Well, there was...
David St. Hubbins: It's true, this really did happen.
Nigel Tufnel: It's true. There was a little green globule on his drum seat.
David St. Hubbins: Like a stain, really.
Nigel Tufnel: It was more of a stain than a globule, actually.
They were still booing him when we came on stage.David St. Hubbins
You don't do heavy metal in Dubly, you know.Jeanine Pettibone
I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn't believe anything.David St. Hubbins
Fuck the napkin!Ian Faith
Well, you should have seen the cover they WANTED to do! It wasn't a glove, believe me.Ian Faith
Ian Faith: They're not gonna release the album... because they have decided that the cover is sexist.
Nigel Tufnel: Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no...
Ian Faith: Sex-IST!
David St. Hubbins: IST!
Nigel Tufnel: You can't fucking concentrate because of your fucking wife! Simple as that, alright? It's your fucking wife!
David St. Hubbins: She's not my wife.
Nigel Tufnel: Well whatever FUCK she is, alright? You can't concentrate!
Marty DiBergi: It's such an interesting concept, mixing mime and food.
Morty the Mime: It's a kick isn't it? Well, I used to be an actor but I could never remember my lines, so I thought "just shut up", you know? Don't say nothing. And my father used to say the same thing to me every dinner time, he used to say to me "shut up and eat", so that's what we do and that's the name of the company "shut up and eat."
[talking about Nigel] I'm tired of sticking up for his intelligence.David St. Hubbins
Derek Smalls: [on the phone] Isn't there a law against this sort of thing? Surely you can't just buy a full page ad in the music papers and publish your divorce demands.
Derek Smalls: What do you mean 'I paid for it'?
Derek Smalls: Joint account! Fuck! Can't we just have her killed? You know people.
Derek Smalls: That's not to say I haven't had my visionary moments. I've taken acid seventy... five, seventy-six times.
Marty DiBergi: 76?
Derek Smalls: Yeah, so I've had my moments in the sky.