Elliot: Lesson number 1: The big rocks are called mountains and the little rocks are their babies.

We got the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did we go right?

Max Bialystock

That's not Yankee dancing - that's Devil Rays dancin'!


I've got a way with young people. They trust me.


Evan: Fogell, I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops.
Fogell: Because I fuckin' rule?

You bet your size 6 ass!


Andrew Largeman: We're not playing Spin the Bottle; how old are we? More importantly, how old are they?
Jesse: Oh, they're all legal. I think...

Richard Hayden: All right, now it's sale time, so remember, we don't take no.....
Tommy: No shit from anyone!
Richard Hayden: No.
Tommy: Um, we don't take no prisoners.
Richard Hayden: We don't take no for answer.
Tommy: Oh yeah... We don't take no for an answer! We don't take no for an answer...

Sherman Schrader: It was your idea to put "acceptance is just one click away"
Bartleby Gaines: Yeah put it as "one click away" but you don't make it clickable!

Jimi Hendrix deceased, drugs. Janis Joplin deceased, alcohol. Mama Cass deceased, ham sandwich.

Austin Powers

Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Gertie: I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not Mommy!
Ollie: I hate you right back you little shit! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!

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