David Seville: [in the car with the chipmuncks] What?
Simon: We're talking chipmuncks, Dave. We can get out of a cat carrier. It's not even hard.

Alvin: Last one to the door is road kill!
[runs to the door]
Simon: I'm in!
[runs to the door]
Theodore: [distracted by a Christmas ornament] Uhm... what is this shiny thing?
Simon: [goes back to Theodore] Theodore, we're leaving now.
Theodore: Oh.

David Seville: Nicely done, Theodore.
[reading the letter]
David Seville: To Dav... let's see it says Merry Christmas, love Theodore. and i'ts got a nice picture of uh... some pineapples?
Theodore: Those aren't pinapples, that's our family!

David Seville: You know, if I were to make a list of the worst days of my life, guess what? This day would be on top of the list!
Alvin: And it's still early!

One more word and I'll hide your stash.

Cam Wexler

Do you like it when I eat your penguin ass?

Charlie

Charlie: What's sex without love?
Stu: SEX!

Paulie Bleeker: I still have your underwear.
Juno MacGuff: I still have your virginity.
Paulie Bleeker: Shut up.

Leah: Woah check out baby big head. That thing is freaky looking.
Juno MacGuff: Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

Vanessa Loring: How do I look?
Bren: Like a new mom. Scared shitless.

Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS!
Kat Stratford: Well then, tell them I had a seizure.

Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish.
[Lucentio's line from The Taming of the Shrew Act I Scene 1]
Michael: Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep, I'm sure.

FREE Movie Newsletter