Popular Comedy Quotes
Instead of telling our young people to plan ahead, we should tell them to plan to be surprised.Dan Burns
I don't want to go out with the pig... face.Dan Burns
Put it on my tab.Dan Burns
There's rightness in our wrongness.Dan Burns
[about Mitch] It seems all his best lines were yours... this is unbearable.Marie
Jane Burns: If you don't let me, I'll never learn.
Dan Burns: But if I let you, you might not live.
Cow: You're a lawyer too?
Mooseblood: Ma'am, I was already a bloodsucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase!
Adam Flayman: Are you going to his funeral?
Barry B. Benson: No way. Everyone knows you sting someone, you die. You don't waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hothead.
He's no goodfella, He's a BAD-fella!Barry B. Benson
Giselle: Nobody has been very nice to me.
Robert: Yeah, well, welcome to New York.
Giselle: Thank you.
Prince Edward: [talking to TV] Magic Mirror. I beg you. Tell me where she is!
Reporter: [on TV] Reporting live from 116th and Broadway.
Prince Edward: 116th and Broadway! Thank you mirror!
Robert: You're not going to sing, are you?
Giselle: [singing] How does she know...
Robert: Don't sing. It's okay, you know. Let's just walk. Can we walk?